T H E TEN C O M M A N D M E N T S
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this: You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery," and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians ... It creates a hostile work environment.

A frog croaks all the time, a cat only nine times

The mime wanted to say something, but he wasn't aloud.

Beer Analysis

This is serious stuff.... beer contains female hormones!!

Last month Mississippi State University scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens); therefore, by drinking enough beer, men can turn into women!

To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 pints of beer within a one-hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:

1. Argued over nothing.
2. Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3. Gained weight.
4. Talked excessively without making sense.
5. Became overly emotional.
6. Couldn't drive.
7. Failed to think rationally.
8. Had to sit down to urinate.

No further testing was considered necessary