* On an electrician's truck: "Let Us Remove Your Shorts."
* Outside a radiator repair shop. "Best Place in Town to Take a Leak."
* In a realtor's office: "Lots for little."
* In a shoe store: "Come in and have a fit."
* In a maternity clothes store: "We are open on labor day."
* In a non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
* In the door of the maternity ward: "Push Push Push."
* At entrance of the IRS: "Watch your step."
* At the exit of the IRS: "Watch your mouth."
* In a bookstore: "We treat you write."
* On a front door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian - except the dog."
* In an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
* On a physicist’s door: "Gone fission."
* In a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
* On a podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."
* In a butcher's window: "Let me meat your needs."
* On used car lot: "Second hand cars in first crash condition."
* On fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."
* In a car dealership office: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
* In a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."
* At a hotel. "Help! We need inn-experienced people."
* In a science teacher's room:
"If it moves, it's biology.
If it stinks, it's chemistry.
If it doesn't work, it's physics."
* In butchers window: "Pleased to meat you."
* On auto body shop: "May we have the next dents?"
* At the dry cleaner's window: "Drop your pants here."
* On a parking space at a garden nursery: "Reserved for plant manager."
* On a door to a psychiatric ward: "Please do not disturb further."
* In an office: "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."